we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize