I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
