we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize