Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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