Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
