Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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