why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
only if we run a train.
done.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
