Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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