I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
