I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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