Having a random hookup so left but love u
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
