i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
