I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
