I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Actions speak louder than pants.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
