My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
