My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I need water and some morals
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
