Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
