you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
So. Much. Porn.
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