i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize