btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
