my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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