Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
