my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
