I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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