Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
