when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
