every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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