So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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