two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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