What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
