He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
