I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize