So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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