i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Randomize
