Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
