I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
