You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
