They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
