it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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