Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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