wanna go halves on a baby?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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