the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
