She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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