Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize