I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
