there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
