I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Randomize
