We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So here I am, sexting at work.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize