Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
