your parents love me but you hate me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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