she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
