your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
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