Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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