I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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