we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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