When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
