I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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